My Quest for Truth

“Jesus says:
“‘The one who seeks should not cease seeking until he finds.
And when he finds, he will be dismayed.
And when he is dismayed, he will be astonished.
And he will be king over the All.’” (Gospel of Thomas, 2:1-4)
“Then you’ll know the truth and the truth will make you free.” (John 8:32).


“If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor.” (Albert Einstein)

Nowadays, it is quite fashionable to have a blog. People write about anything imaginable—food, drinks, clothes, fashion events, fitness, cars, animals…the list goes on. Now the time has come to start my own blog, but not because I am a great fan of social media. I did it because I felt compelled to bear witness to the truth. The knowledge of human spirituality I have accumulated over my lifetime has lately become a heavy burden, and the persistent inner nagging to share my experience has reached an intolerable level. 

In my youth, I was a staunch atheist with high self-esteem and scientific aspirations. Raised with the atheistic values of the communist regime, I was taught to believe in science and reject God. Back then, I was interested in history, biology, and literature. I was also inspired by philosophy and occultism, specifically by themes such as the perfect order of nature, animal behavior, the purpose of existence, and the afterlife. I searched for answers because, despite my “materialistic” upbringing, I knew deep down that certain things did not add up. For instance, the theories of Darwinian evolution and the origin of life, especially the Oparin-Haldane primordial soup, all sounded like pure nonsense to me, as it was impossible to explain them without invoking the interference of a higher consciousness. However, the more I learned, the more stupid I felt, not to mention how deeply I had sunk into the swamp of my intellectual self-deception.

Then, in my late twenties, the Spirit swooped down on me like a natural disaster and shattered all my conceptions of the world. The day He revealed Himself to me, He changed my life forever. At first, I felt elated and filled with awe, without realizing the great responsibility that had fallen on my shoulders. But as soon as my training began, my enthusiasm faded away. As nobody is inclined to voluntarily take the path of wisdom (with a few exceptions, namely saints), I was soon searching for a way out. There was none—once you become aware of the Spirit’s presence, no matter how stupid, stubborn, lazy, or self-indulgent you are, you cannot back out. And because, just like everyone else, I loved having fun and following my whims, it was a real challenge to discipline myself and change my habits.

In a nutshell, my training was a nightmare at first, at least until I resigned myself to learning. The process was additionally aggravated because of the atheistic setting in which I had grown up, as I despised Christianity and considered it a religion of the weak, ignorant, and simple. For this and many other reasons, it took me almost twenty years to finally realize what it was all about.

“Twenty years!” you might exclaim. “You’re pretty slow, my friend!”

Well, in my defense, you should know that wisdom comes painfully, and one drop at a time. It takes a tremendous effort to raise your awareness to the degree that you can distance yourself from your stupidity and truly understand what’s going on behind the scenes. The only reason for my success was the tremendous luck that God interceded on my behalf and showed me the path of knowledge; otherwise, I would never have made it. I cannot count how many times I have betrayed Him and tried to quit Him, but He never forsook me. For that, I am enormously grateful and forever indebted to Him.

However, I understand that not everyone will have had such a chance, so I am convinced that by sharing my experience, knowledge, and observations, I can really reach and thrill you. Thus, you will get an alternative, pragmatic viewpoint from a scientifically minded, converted atheist trained directly by the Spirit, who has had the privilege of drinking straight from the source. My reasoning and explanations will give you an alternative perspective on the hundreds of religious and philosophical sites that repeat the same doctrines ad nauseam but never clarify or prove anything because they do not speak from their own experience. Thus, my blog will resolve many of your dilemmas and be helpful for every truth-seeker. This is the same truth that Jesus spoke of: “Then you’ll know the truth and the truth will make you free.” (John 8:32). And also, addressing Pilate: “…the reason I was born and came into the world is to testify to the truth. Everyone on the side of truth listens to me.

“‘What is truth?’ retorted Pilate.” (John 18:37-38).

What is it, indeed? Eternal and inflexible, the universal, or so-called OBJECTIVE TRUTH, is SINGULAR and does not depend on one’s point of view. This statement refutes Nietzsche’s assertion that “There is no truth” and “There are no facts, only interpretations; everything is in flux, incomprehensible, elusive; what is relatively most enduring is our opinions.” (Friedrich Nietzsche. The Will to Power. Vintage Books Ed., NY, 1968, pp. 291; 327).

This is utterly wrong as an affirmation, yet it is widely accepted by the delusional society we live in. In this regard, Nietzsche is an interesting case, showing the lamentable state of our Western civilization that has highly praised this mentally unstable, confused person whose misogynistic, blasphemous, and self-deceptive works were even adopted by the Nazis. And yet, he is still an icon in the field of Philosophy, despite all the nonsense he wrote. Very sad, indeed.

But we are not interested in bending the facts, so universal truth must become the cornerstone of our knowledge. In this blog, we’ll consider many hard questions, such as God and the Devil’s existence, the perfect order in Nature, how it could be possible for a priest to be a child abuser, and how the human mind works under demonic influence. We will examine the strategy we need to develop to get rid of the demons inside us, discuss various beliefs and ideologies, many paranormal phenomena, important historical events, and debate the ethical issues of our contemporary society. And if you appreciate my blog and find the topics interesting and useful, please support my quest for truth by buying my books, which will help me keep going.

Of course, I realize that, just like Don Quixote, I have set out to fight against the windmill, as I know that most of you will mock, curse, or patronize me, but never believe me or follow my advice. It’s okay, though. My mission is to convey my knowledge and experience to you, not to be your spiritual leader. And your goal should be to apply this knowledge to break free from the demons that torture you.

However, whenever you feel like rejecting my words, keep in mind that there is a 20-year gap of accumulated knowledge between us, so don’t get too upset with me. Instead, recall what Socrates said 2400 years ago: “I neither know nor think that I know” (Plato. The Apology of Socrates. The Harvard Classics. CT, 1980, p. 9), and tell yourself, “There is a fifty percent chance that he is or I am right. But what if I am wrong?” 

Such questions are the beginning of wisdom, laying the foundation for spiritual growth. But remember, this is just the beginning.